SF and back again

524325_603267266160_293513524_nI’ve been so disconnected to blogging lately because I’m still playing catch-up after a whirlwind end to February/beginning of March. When I last wrote I was secretly smirking at the fact that I was packing my bags and pulling up my boarding pass online. I know Matt follows my blog and I didn’t want to give him ANY signs that I was heading to the airport the next day to see him. Work had been crazy; events and programs left and right. I planned the trip to be a celebration of my one year at Bucknell, one year of making long distance work with Matt, and one year of making through what has been one of the most difficult adjustments of my life.

Hearing the shock in Matt’s voice when he called to see if I was actually coming (I “checked” into the airport and tagged him on FB as my way of breaking the news) made it all worth it. Having to leave Marfa, having to drive two hours just to get to an airport, having to sleep in the Philly airport on a bench because my connecting flight was cancelled, all was worth it to be back in the city where we fell in love. 64842_730396951651_1326120694_n

Matt and I met on Match.com. I know I know, I thought that site was only for murderers and psychos, too! But it worked for us! After moving to San Francisco and making friends, I realized meeting guys in bars was not exactly the best strategy… c’mon, have you seen how many hipsters live there?! 😛 So after some internal pep talking, I signed up. I went on some doozey-dates with guys 7 inches shorter than they described, bald guys that had pictures with hair, aggressive guys, nerdy guys, I even “went to the bathroom” on one date, stopped off at the bar to pay for my and my date’s drinks and never went back to the table! (I ran into him, literally ran during a long run, into him months later… yikes). But with Matt it was different. It was so easy and I remember texting my friend Casey from the bathroom saying, “He’s really funny and totally cute. I hope we go out again!”

And here we are almost two years later. The best thing about being with Matt is that even though we spend months a part, when we do reconnect face-to-face we pick up right where we left off. He knows my deepest secret and my biggest struggle. I tell him things with ease that I couldn’t say to myself in the mirror. And despite going through a time where I felt angry that he wouldn’t move to Lewisburg with me… I do realize this place isn’t for everyone. And I know I don’t want to be here forever.

photo-53One thing I miss about SF almost as much as Matt… the food and drinks! If I could map my trip in photos this would only be the tip of the iceberg! My favorite new find was a sandwich shop after our hike called, Gerkins. I got a MONSTER sandwich on dutch crunch with cucumbers, sprouts, lettuce, avocado, brown mustard, turkey and pastrami. It was so delish I saved the other half for my post 16 on Saturday. That alone was worth sleeping on an airport bench!

Our trip was full of old favorites: fancy cocktails at Comstock Saloon, ice cream and Swensen’s, sushi on Saturday, the spare contact case he bought me as a gag gift back when we first started dating was laid out on a night table as if I never left it. We got our favorite sammies and salads, walked to our local bagel shop with coffee, and hiked the city. We shared some new memories: going back to a beach where you climb down a cliff just to make it to the sand. Matt brought me here on one of our first weekend adventures, but I, wearing a dress, couldn’t climb down. So we went back to finally do it together 🙂 WE RAN TOGETHER!!! Matt ran everyday with me. He met me to round out my 16 mile long run, we did short 5 milers together, it was perfect.

Coming back only makes me realize how much I miss living in a city. How despite the beauty of rural landscape, it can only do so much for me. As some of the struggles I’ve faced over this last year start to subside with the help of doctors and positive change, this trip was a kick I needed to think about the next stages of my life. The biggest regret of the trip was that the last night we got held up and I missed the opportunity to call my old roommate, Erin. She’s the one who would understand me feeling this desire for change… and she’d probably tell me to go whole-heartedly into my future. She was the best roommate and I miss her positivity. I wish our last day wasn’t so crazy and that I could have called her before rushing to the airport!

From east to west and back again…

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2 thoughts on “SF and back again

  1. Waaaah! SF will always be the place where I fell in love with you over one too many gin and ton tons in the tenderloin. I am so proud of you Pam! You inspire me everyday and one day when I work as a barista at the Starbucks around the corner from MOMA (which you will be running) promise to tip me, mmmmkay? I remember fondly also the match.com man who wanted to take you roller blading and I think left a song on your vmail?

    ps. Im imagining David from club1 singing our names, also what did we nickname his coworker? gnomey?

    xoxo

    • This made me laugh SO hard. No, you will be dressing me in the most stylish LA LA land things. I’m afraid Lewisburg zapped me back into scary clothes land… help. That match man would be Colin… the one that SANG on my voicemail (clue #1). Gnomey and glue huffing Dave!! Bon voyageeeeeeeeee

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